“The root of disappointment comes from holding expectations.”
I don’t know about you, but the disappointment has a huge impact on my life.
It always has, even before the rape and after.
Growing up, I never wanted to disappoint my family(Mom and dad etc), and now I still don’t want to disappoint my family(Mom, dad, Husband, kids etc.).
I know that no one is perfect, including myself and I do not know if this weighs on me so because I let the world around me influence me, but when I know I disappointed someone, that is when I become my own worst enemy.
And it can be as something as small as buying the wrong thing at the grocery store, I may not have disappointed the people around me, but I feel like I have and then the personal beatings follow.
When I woke up in that hospital room, on October 10th, I knew I was huge disappointment. When the nurse told me I was raped, I don’t really feel like I knew what that meant but I immediately felt the feelings of shame and guilt, and knew that my family would be disappointed.
What I didn’t know is, is that they would have sympathy and compassion for me, and not so much disappointment. But try telling me that then, and I wouldn’t believe you.
With that said, when it came to my parents in 2004, it was a rough last few months of that year for all of us. It took us all a long time to openly discuss the topic, especially with my dad. So this week, I wanted to share a video of my parents and show a glimpse to how they felt. Check it out below.
Also there is one week left to pre-order the book!!! Do it here: https://www.voices-of-hope.org/the-book